The World Media Having a Whale of a Time

If the current rumours about the pregnancy of the alleged secret lover of Francois Hollande prove conclusive, then bravo Monsieur le Président for proving that austerity has not dampened your libido.

On the contrary, all signs point in the opposite direction. You seem to be having a joyful ride – not only on your notorious scooter, but also giving a free reign to your private love life which has exceeded most expectations.

But perhaps you are wilier than the public gives you credit for. It could be a most ingenious public relations exercise insofar as it encourages your less fortunate citizens to follow suit, thereby forgetting the current misery that your administration has heaped onto them in the name of socialist reforms to boost the tottering French economy.

In bleeding the rich, you are killing incentive and compelling most of them to leave the country. Maybe that’s what you are aiming for, in order to smash the competition so that your so-called lack of aura shines unchallenged.

In the interim your latest choice of lover is, I must say, rather ravishing. Julie Gayet, as these pictures show, is a delectable dish hard to resist and likely to give you a steamy few months before your attention seeks other uncharted venues.

In brief, you are a naughty boy who is partial to licking the cream before eating the cake. Good luck if you can get away with it while Rome burns, as long as you maintain the chorus of Vive la France.