Macho men are a breed of their own. They are mostly selfish, rarely interesting, full of exaggerated self-esteem and rather boring. A recent study reveals that although they may be good at many things, pillow talk is not one of them.
Those with high levels of the sex hormone testosterone are usually reluctant to indulge in chitchat after making love and when they do say something, it may well be hurtful to their other half. In contrast, those with lower testosterone levels are keener to whisper sweet nothings and are better at it, the study led by the University of Connecticut suggests.
The researchers described how post-sex communication may serve an ‘important role in not only sustaining a satisfying sexual relationship between partners, but may also contribute to more general feelings of relationship satisfaction and closeness.’
When deciding what to tell a partner during pillow talk we must ‘assess the risks and benefits before making the decision to reveal or conceal information,’ the researchers warned. The possible risks that come with disclosure include ‘loss of control, embarrassment, hurt or rejection’ the researchers say in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. The benefits may include ‘increased intimacy, closeness and satisfaction.’
In the study, 253 adults provided saliva samples from which their testosterone could be measured. They were then asked to keep online diaries for two weeks describing their sexual activity as well as post-sex communication with their partner and how they felt about it. Those with higher levels of testosterone tended to regard pillow talk as being more risky and less beneficial than those with lower levels. They were found to ‘communicate less, express fewer personal emotions and to be more likely to have said negative things to their partners,’ the study found.
The researchers said: ‘Not only does the current study contribute to researchers’ theoretical understanding of sexual communication, privacy boundaries and biology, it could also have broader practical implications for romantic relationships.’
I find this latest study most enlightening. Men with little or no pronounced emotion tend to be insensitive lovers and use sex as a means of purely self-satisfaction – whereas the beauty of sex lies in the congress of two bodies to create the most enjoyable pleasure zone that humans can attain.
Ladies, take heed: don’t be bamboozled by macho men, go for the gentler kind and thank the lord for his special gift.