To maintain high spirits at Christmas when one’s personal circumstances, due to an illness in the family, are so debilitating, is almost an impossibility which defies description.
The loneliness and frustration to keep body and mind in working order, so as to attend to the needs of someone you love and whose loyalty and companionship you have experienced for over six decades, is a hefty undertaking especially when the odds against you prove insurmountable from time to time.
However, your inner strength, combined with the flame of an everlasting love and commitment, keeps you from falling apart. For life has its ups and downs, its joys and sorrows, its triumphs and failures, which augment the capacity to withstand the oscillation of the good and bad turn of events, enabling you to weather any storm no matter what it throws at you.
Sacrifice cleanses the soul and reinvigorates the body. You become a more complete human being. Your emotions are more visible. You cry, not out of weakness, but when the flow of suffusion overwhelms you. You feel a variety of soul-searching factors which you did not know existed. Hence, a transformation is born out of the realization that a little suffering complements an eventual joy.
Christmas was for me this year what one might call a visit to purgatory, where hopefully my previous sins are redeemed. I pray that this is not a hallucination developed in old age, but the advent of a wisdom, lacking in my evolution to manhood.