Nipples are Not for Eating

Amanda Holden has become publicity mad.

Her latest gimmick is to show us an unusual new tattoo on her upper thigh of Simon Cowell’s face. This, she says, is because ‘he’s given me employment for the last nine years, so I thought I would do it in his honour’.

Tell it to the marines, Amanda. They are more likely to believe your motives.

The judge on Britain’s Got Talent is now exploiting her frame to gain recognition for her hidden assets, which are now promoted to the point where silliness replaces her better judgement.

Reported to have insured her nipples for £2 million, it is in my view a publicity stunt which has misfired and made her look laughable – even to the most open-minded and liberal observer.

Insuring her nipples against what, one may ask. No one is likely to eat them, or, I suppose, that is a possibility – in which case, would the insurance company have to cough up the £2 million to a distraught Amanda, who would have to cope with the loss of her most treasured nipples.

How weird people can become with fame. I can’t for a moment believe how some women become so deluded and lose their dignity for the sake of remaining in the public eye.

Amanda, as the mother of two lovely young girls, should know better.

If she has talent, let us see it in its proper perspective, and let her refrain from the sort of sensationalism that her latest contrivance is likely to tar her with.

Grow up, Amanda, and reclaim your sense of proportion if you have any.

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