A Brainy Chick with a Sassy Tongue

Why is it that women who are saucy by nature seem to amass more popularity and polarise an easier recognition than their conventional sisters who, quite frankly, tend to bore us to tears?

Throughout the ages, women who have mastered pertness with a certain élan and use their cultural heritage and feminine wile to entertain us with their wit and turn of phrase have, in most cases, succeeded where others have failed.

I, among many who admire women with a frisky disposition, have for some time kept a close eye on Rachel Johnson – who has the habit of causing controversy and spilling the beans when possessed by a whim or the need to stir the pot in order to remind her readers that her bite remains as sharp as ever.

The younger sister of Boris, our bonking mayor who has excelled in many a sphere, Rachel has obviously the same temperament as he, and a driven compulsion not to be overshadowed by other members of her family. Her father, whom I met at the launch party of John Bird’s book The Necessity of Poverty (which Quartet published), is a typical English gentleman whose armoury consists of a well-poised charm which I suspect his children have inherited.

Rachel’s regarded as clever, a good journalist, a hell-raiser and a sexually attractive woman in her prime whose tongue and cheeky perception of life has won her many friends, but also a few enemies.

Her latest escapade has caused a few ripples in the less tolerant sections of society when she agreed to be interviewed in the latest issue of The Chap magazine to claim, among other things, that she’s a boy with breasts. And to give some credence to that description of herself, the former editor of The Lady has revealed that she once took legal action to stop a newspaper falsely outing her as a lesbian.

A colleague, Rachel said, claimed that she had had an affair with her and ‘it reached the stage where she’s done an interview and there was going to be a two-page spread on my lesbian love affair. There were some very juicy details – things I’d said to her while we made love on her desk and looked into each other’s eyes…I didn’t want my children reading about how I’ve been cougaring junior members of the staff. I had to get a lawyer to stop it going to press’.

I can quite understand Rachel’s concern and have every sympathy for her action, which was certainly triggered by her desire to protect her family, but what a hot woman she turns out to be! It must run in the family.

On her father’s side Johnson is great-granddaughter of Ali Kemal Bey, a liberal Turkish journalist and the interior minister in the government of Damat Ferid Pasha, Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire, murdered during the Turkish War of Independence in 1922. During WWI, her grandfather and great-aunt were recognised as British subjects and took their grandmother’s maiden name of Johnson.

Her Eastern blood must surely account for her pronounced sexuality and her towering example of womanhood. However, even I can well imagine what fun it would be to have ‘a slap and tickle’ with her – if only to harbour a good memory in old age.

One response to “A Brainy Chick with a Sassy Tongue

  1. I’m an admirer of Boris and his Dad….Rachel is certainly cut from the same cloth…which is high praise.