Why is fashion becoming a drug-fuelled habit that defines the way we dress, even if we look ridiculous or out of place, or make our ladies’ hideous bits appear more pronounced than we wish them to be?
Is it all for the sake of being up-to-date and trendy, and more often than not displaying the vulgarity of wealth for our own self-elevation?
When I see ladies with piano legs and over-sized hips wearing mini-skirts and negotiating the steps of a double-decker bus, I feel appalled for their own sake.
The mere sight of what should be concealed is horribly off-putting, and instead of promoting sex it simply demeans it.
A large-breasted woman who in normal circumstances should ooze sex is randomly unaware that by exposing too much negates the dramatic effect it is meant to have.
The balance must be right, otherwise the surfeit of a good thing has the contrary reaction.
Worse still, women who go commando risk an unguarded movement to reveal their nest, which can be devastatingly compromising and not necessarily a pleasant sight in the wrong environment.
As you go up-market, the same addiction takes a different turn.
The Chanel logo, long revered by fashion worshippers, has appeared on a range of eclectic items from skis to space helmets, but a Lego brick is a new one – even for that arbiter of taste, Karl Lagerfeld.
Chanel’s ‘Lego’ clutch is not made out of bricks, but its similarities to the famous plastic building blocks are all too apparent. It is made of plastic, comes in the same range of bright colours – red, yellow, blue and green – and has that distinctively tactile feel about it.
Still, there is one notable difference: the price.
Whereas a small box of Lego will set you back £9.99, the Chanel ‘Lego’ clutch costs £5,370. However, despite its exorbitant price and scant 12cm x 20cm x 5.5cm dimensions, celebrities can’t get enough.
Kim Kardashian was lucky enough to be one of the first to get her hands on one, in green, shortly before her mother Kris Jenner bagged one in black and white.
Rihanna, on the other hand, has been proudly Instagram’ing selfie pictures featuring a yellow one, while Rita Ora, Cara Delevingne’s ‘wifey’, and her red one barely seem to be parted.
You might expect such a cult item to have a long waiting list, but an enquiry to Chanel confirms that there is none at all because no more deliveries are anticipated or, for that matter, planned.
The bag was made only in small numbers, probably to test the market. Its construction from plexiglass, and prohibitive cost, leads one to believe it was only conceived as a limited edition item.
Its price tag makes it twice as expensive as Chanel’s classic 2.55 quilted handbag, even though the latter is made of leather. But plastic has become officially posh, and expensive at that – even if the bags in question are tiny.
‘Mini show-pieces, especially in perspex or plastic, as at Chanel, have been some of the most sought after bags this season,’ according to Tammie Parmentier, accesories buyer at Selfridges. ‘Childlike accessories are certainly bringing the fun back into fashion, albeit at a price. But few would have predicted the simple Lego brick could have inspired such demand.’
Emma Owen, PR manager at Lego, said: ‘This new clutch design, featuring the bright colours and unmistakeable Lego-block shape, is flattery in its sincerest form. We are thrilled to see that our brand, that is typically synonymous with children, is now inspiring innovative catwalk designs.’
Well, although this up-market addiction is much too costly for those with a limited budget, it nevertheless evokes in this case a trend which celebrates various colours in all their glory. It will help us banish the gloom that pervades our lives at this moment in time, and bring us some joy in witnessing, for a change, an item that complements women irrespective of their shapes and demeanour.
For once, let us forget sex and go back to our childhood and enjoy its loveable innocence.