My Weekend Review

Politics have become a sick joke.

Ed Miliband’s pal, the comedian John O’Farrell, who has apparently written jokes for Gordon Brown, our witless ex-prime minister – and look where it got him – is the Labour candidate contesting the seat vacated by Chris Huhne in Eastleigh.

In his book of memoirs, O’Farrell admits that he would always be in trouble for saying the wrong things. And by golly he is absolutely right.

Some of his quotes coming from an aspiring politician are unbelievably out of order: ‘I wanted Britain to lose the Falklands for its own good.’ He likened the mourning for Diana to a Nazi rally. He’s sorry the IRA did not kill Mrs Thatcher and claims Britain didn’t really win World War II. And to add to his litany of platitudes, he declares that, if elected, he won’t bother to live in Eastleigh. That’s the calibre of the man who is trying to win this week’s by-election for Labour.

How could anyone in his right mind vote for such a clown unless they are determined to discredit our political system; as if it is not already low enough at a time when we need serious men of integrity to deal with our failing economy and the austerity that will follow for many years to come.

New Labour has had its days of glory and look at the legacy they left the nation. Ed Miliband must have had a crippling stroke to have agreed to back this bumbling old comedian whose loose tongue will eventually cut his throat.

Even an economic wizard such as the hyped-up George Osborne is finding himself clutching at the ropes for fear of being knocked out by his lacklustre policies which are causing him a permanent hangover.

What a nightmare for the electorate the next general election will be for choice. To abstain from voting is considered unpatriotic, but worse still, to vote for a party that you know will add to the woes of the nation will be catastrophic and make one’s life more unbearable than ever before.

We need divine inspiration for guidance and even then, unless we are true believers, the odds are stacked against our possible salvation. I can’t imagine what a predicament these political buggers have in store for us.

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Quartet Books once published a luxurious photographic coffee-table book on tattoos printed in four colours – Tattoo by Stefan Richter. It was and is still the definitive book on the subject.

Some of the pictures were distressing to see; male and female bodies were totally disfigured and made you shrink in horror. Men and women had every inch of their bodies tattooed including their private parts. How could they have endured the pain, especially when their sensitive sexual bits were done, escapes me. And for what purpose? Instead of enhancing the beauty of their nakedness, they made it ugly and in some way threateningly disgusting.

I can well understand why a small tattoo is acceptable if it reminds people of a loved one or a sexual initiation they would like to remember. But otherwise it is a mania and if overdone can lose its appeal very quickly.

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Take for instance the case of Cheryl Cole who must have gone crackers. An attractive woman, who cuts a stunning figure of elegance when dressed, has now made a hash of her naked body.

Her back, as these pictures show, is like a garden of roses to cover up a previous tattoo of a black butterfly.

I might be right in thinking that the black butterfly reminded her of her cheating ex-husband Ashley who is now having the time of his life bedding sexually loose women and whose memory she has probably decided to wipe out. If that’s the case, anything to hide the butterfly is understandable.

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However, questions were being asked whether the red roses were tattoo or paint. Some fans who saw her at Thursday night’s concert, the first of twenty-one dates for Girls Aloud, claim that Cheryl is addicted to tattoos and may have drawn the line at this one and opted for a temporary transfer. One fan tweeted: ‘I hope that tattoo is fake you massive chav.’ Another described the design as ‘vile’, adding: ‘Talk about a Tramp Stamp.’

Celebrity tattoo artist Chris Jones insisted the inking was real, the handiwork of renowned California-based artist Nikko Hurtado.

Whether it is a tattoo or paint, Cheryl looks like a well-heeled tramp who has run out of ideas. Too much money and caprice make a woman do the craziest of things, and Cheryl Cole is no exception.

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